You are not your experiences

One of the most fundamental things to remember is that whatever you come across in your inner journey, you are not it. You are the one who is witnessing it.
It may be nothingness, it may be blissfulness, it may be silence…but one thing has to be remembered—however beautiful and however enchanting an experience you come to, you are not it. You are the one who is experiencing it. And if you go on and on and on, the ultimate in the journey is the point when there is no experience left—neither silence, nor blissfulness, nor nothingness. There is nothing as an object for you but only your subjectivity. The mirror is empty, it is not reflecting anything. It is you. Even great travelers of the inner world have got stuck in beautiful experiences, and have become identified with those experiences thinking, “I have found myself.” They have stopped before reaching the final stage where all experiences disappear. Enlightenment is not an experience. It is the state where you are left absolutely alone, nothing to know. No object, however beautiful, is present. Only in that moment does your consciousness, unobstructed by any object, take a turn and move back to the source. It becomes self-realization. It becomes enlightenment. I must remind you about the word object. Every object means hindrance. The very meaning of the word is hindrance, objection. So the object can be outside you, in the material world; the object can be inside you in your psychological world. The objects can be in your heart, feelings, emotions, sentiments, moods, and the objects can even be in your spiritual world. And they are so ecstatic that one cannot imagine there can be more. Many mystics of the world have stopped at ecstasy. It is a beautiful spot, a scenic spot, but they have not arrived home yet. When you come to a point when all experiences are absent, there is no object, then consciousness without obstruction moves in a circle—in existence everything moves in a circle, if not obstructed—it comes from the same source of your being, goes around. Finding no obstacle to it—no experience, no object—it moves back to the source, and the subject itself becomes the object. That is what J. Krishnamurti continued to say for his whole life: when the observer becomes the observed, know that you have arrived. Before that there are thousands of things in the way. The body gives its own experiences, which have become known as the experiences of the centers of kundalini; seven centers become seven lotus flowers. Each is bigger than the other and higher, and the fragrance is intoxicating. The mind gives you great spaces, unlimited, infinite. But remember the fundamental maxim, that still the home has not come. Enjoy the journey and enjoy all the scenes that come on the journey—the trees, the mountains, the flowers, the rivers, the sun and the moon and the stars—but don’t stop anywhere, unless your very subjectivity becomes its own object. When the observer is the observed, when the knower is the known, when the seer is the seen, the home has arrived. This home is the real temple we have been searching for, for lives together, but we always go astray. We become satisfied with beautiful experiences. A courageous seeker has to leave all those beautiful experiences behind, and go on moving. When all experiences are exhausted and only he himself remains in his aloneness…no ecstasy is bigger than that, no blissfulness is more blissful, no truth is truer. You have entered what I call godliness, you have become a god. An old man went to his doctor. “I have got toilet problems”, he complained. “Well, let us see. How is your urination?” “Every morning at seven o’clock, like a baby.” “Good. How about your bowel movement?” “Eight o’clock each morning, like clockwork.” “So, what is the problem?” the doctor asked. “I don’t wake up until nine.” You are asleep and it is time to wake up. All these experiences are experiences of a sleeping mind. The awakened mind has no experiences at all.